I read alot, though, because that was a form of escapism. And Fictionamaniasimply saved my life. I read for days, learned English and got the warmfeeling of not being alone in the struggle.It was out of desperation that I discovered that my effeminate soulcould offer some practical gifts. For many years I tried to reject andsuppress everything that seemed unmanly, including my feelings. Iwanted to cry, often, like a girl. Or giggle happily, as girls do. Ilearned to suppress my emotions by. “He’s already gone.”I would like to point out that I wasn’t actually dead at this point. But it was 1918, and this was all happening right on the battlefield. So I’ve learned to forgive these poor fellows, who never could’ve saved me even if they had known I still had a heartbeat.He was left there, in the unnatural stillness of no man’s land but for the buzzing of insects. Even wind dare not touch the sickly green/grey air, still smelling of the toxic gas of the last chemical attack. The. .. we thought I would put a damper on ... any bright ideas he might get.”Brett interrupted, asking, “Are you upset with me for playing with your hair?”“No, Brett. Don’t you see? If anything, I had the opposite reaction, although I had already determined to bring this up with the whole group before you drove me out of my mind.”Heather asked, “Did you say you played with her hair?” When he nodded, she asked, “Softly and ... sort of ... lovingly?” When he nodded again, she asked, “Are you still a. These pictures and fantasies would repeat, over and over again through the day. And they’re indirectly responsible for a conversation and life-changing decision that Sue and I were about to make.It was just over a week after I’d started back at work. I can remember the exact date as it was the thirteenth of January, which I’d later recall and wonder if this ‘unlucky’ date was responsible for some of the things we experienced. It was a Tuesday evening when Sue had just returned from her shift at.
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